Currently I am … Overwhelmed
How can somebody with no job and no real need to accomplish anything be overwhelmed? I do it to myself. I have spent days feeling sluggish and slightly nauseous with the sheer volume of things I’ve decided to do. Nobody is making me. Nobody is relying on me. Truly the only thing I NEED to be doing is feeding myself and growing a baby. I don’t mean to diminish the pregnancy part of my struggles because pregnancy is a STRUGGLE (read more about just how difficult I think it is here). In reality, however, being pregnant alone with out a job to keep up with or other kids to chase around or any other responsibilities is manageable. I accidentally chose to make my life unmanageable this week.
I sat down today and pulled out all of my To Do Lists- the ones in apps on my phone, on paper, on sticky notes, on the back of envelopes and napkins, etc. I consolidated them all into two giant lists- things I wanted to get done this week and things that could wait. Wouldn’t you know the list that I created for MYSELF was 4 pages long. Okay, some of this is unavoidable- grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments, paying bills, responding to emails. A good amount of it is things I put off from last week because I scheduled myself for too many things last week too. And then there are the things that I decided this morning just had to get done because I was sick of putting them off. In reality, they should just be scheduled for some time in the future. Do I really need to make sure that I add Kenny to my bank account to streamline the process of his access to funds should something terrible happen to me? Haven’t I put this off for three years because we have a joint account, too, and it isn’t all that important? Does this need to happen THIS week? Nooooooope. It doesn’t. I also don’t need to have my blog perfect before it launches or take my grandma to the bank to close out her safety deposit box or finish scanning my papers from 2016. It can wait. All of it can wait.
My focus this week is and has been to get my blog up and running. I’ve been working on it for weeks, but I was not expecting such a steep learning curve! Sure, writing the posts takes a bit of time. I knew that was coming. What I hadn’t anticipated was all the social media and graphics. I could have easily finished all of this if I had just started. But it can be so difficult to start when there are too many projects to choose from!
So, I’m casting aside my To Do List. I’m finishing up the first pieces of this blog TODAY. And here it is, the Candid Condition. It’s not perfect. It could use some finishing touches. If anybody has a good system for managing To Do Lists for different time periods (things to do today vs. this week vs. this month vs. before X date), PLEASE send them my way. Until then, you all get this blog as I promised it- an honest look into my life which is often, and particularly now, slightly chaotic.
In other news, I organized our room and closet to make space for Baby Weiss this week, so if you want to see what my life looks like when it’s not in chaos and how we plan to fit two people and a baby into one room, stay tuned!
Update: closet and nursery tour and can be found here!